I Can't Lose You Erin Gilbert
by RideItLikeYouStoleIt
Summary: Ghosts are still appearing in New York city and during a bust Holtzmann almost loses Erin again. It's only been a couple months since they defeated Rowan and she almost lost Erin and Abby in the portal. She struggles with her feelings for Erin, and in the hospital, waiting for Erin to wake up, she remembers all the things that made her fall for Erin Gilbert. Rated M just in case.


Jillian Holtzmann took a moment to watch her favourite person in the whole world while Erin was slowly walking ahead of her, checking the room they had just entered, her proton gun clutched in her hands as she tentatively looked around for any sign of the ghost they were hunting. Abby and Patty were checking the room opposite as they searched the second floor of the cheap hotel where the owners had called the Ghostbusters to catch a Ghost that had been throwing guests around their rooms and breaking objects and furniture. The four Ghostbusters were on high alert for any sign of the malevolent entity, and Holtzmann's eyes, as usual, kept straying back to Erin, watching every movement of the cute brunette intently, while also quickly scanning their surroundings, well aware that Erin was often the main target of the Ghosts they busted, their slime always seemed to get her somehow, she'd slipped on it and got hit in the face with it enough times that's for sure.

Holtzmann automatically followed Erin on every bust nowadays, just to keep an eye on the 'slime magnet' of the team, as Patty had called her on the last bust when Erin got a particularly nasty slime in the face, almost choking her. Holtzmann still had a lingering anxiety about Erin getting hurt, after the whole Rowan incident a couple months ago where she almost lost both Erin and Abby in the portal. Since then Jillian had been a little clingy and anxious in general, which her friends had picked up on and tried their best to reassure her that everything was okay, which settled her a little, but she still wasn't taking any chances with Erin Gilbert, the woman that she had been falling for ever since she first met her, and the one of the group that was most likely to run into trouble. Of course, Erin and the others didn't know Holtz's feelings for Erin, at least Jillian thought so, Patty and Abby can sometimes be perceptive when they want to be, she couldn't be completely sure they hadn't figured her out. At least she knew Erin was oblivious that Holtz loved her, though the constant flirting and winks from the engineer really should have clued her in by now, Holtzmann's theory on the subject was that Erin truly had no idea how desirable she really was and therefore possibly considered the flirting to be Holtz joking around or just part of the blonde's personality. Jillian figured she really should do something about it, and soon, it was starting to really weigh on her, plus she wanted Erin to know just how cute, amazing and sexy Holtz found her, because she totally was all of those things, and then some.

" _You guys find anything?_ " Abby's voice through the walkie talkie pulled Holtzmann's thoughts back to the task at hand.

"Negative. Moving to next room." Holtz replied, keeping her steady gaze on Erin until the brunette turned and came back, ready to move on the next area.

"That's weird, it's taking it's time to show itself, I thought the owner said it was super loud and violent?" Erin frowned, her brows furrowing slightly in a way that Jillian thought was pretty adorable. Man, she had it bad for Gilbert.

"Maybe it knows who we are and is hiding like a little girl." She comments dryly. Erin snorts at her remark and Holtz smirks, retreating out of the room and standing in the hallway. She could hear Abby and Patty already checking another room further down the hall.

"Yeah probably, you can be pretty scary Holtzmann." Erin smirked at her this time, and Jillian played along.

"Whaaaaaat?" She made a face at Erin, making her chuckle, wagging her eyebrows she continued, "Do I scare _you_ Gilbert?" A suggestive wink and grin had the other woman blushing prettily.

"Only a little…" Erin admitted awkwardly, a small smile on her lips. Holtz was taken aback slightly, her mouth gaping a little and her stomach flipping in that way only Gilbert could make her. She quickly turned her surprise into a grin, "Good to know."

" _Where you guys at? Got some nasty ass slime over here_." Patty's voice sounded through the walkie.

"Roger that. On our way." Holtz replied her eyes still on the slightly flustered woman, watching in amusement as Erin avoided eye contact with flushed cheeks. Maybe it wasn't so hopeless after all, Jillian should keep up the flirtations if only to see Gilbert like this more often. She reluctantly turned away, prepared to lead the way to other room she could hear the other two Ghostbusters in, knowing Erin would follow. She heard Erin's steps behind her as she exited the room they had swept, Holtz continued walking, looking around for any sign of the spectre.

Suddenly the lights in the plain, dingy hallway flickered ominously, and there was an animalistic growl, that sounded like it was coming from inside the walls. Holtz was on high alert, proton gun at the ready to blast any Ghost that dared jump out at her.

"Where'd that come from?" Holtz turned around, to see Erin looking around cautiously at the ceiling as she noticed a slime puddle right above her. There was some slime already on her shoulder that she appeared not have noticed yet.

"Uh, Gilbert, might wanna move away from that puddle there before you get any more on ya." Holtz couldn't help but smile at the annoyed look on the brunette's face as she glared at the slime on her jumpsuit like it was the most offensive thing in the world. Erin lowered her proton gun in exasperation as she attempted to wipe the goo off her shoulder, "Come on! Already? I haven't even seen the Ghost yet, and it gets me!"

Before Holtzmann could respond, there was a snarl and the entity burst out of the wall next to Erin throwing her against the opposite wall. She yelped as the force knocked her to the ground. Holtz aimed her gun quickly and fired, missing the Ghost as it continued through the wall Erin was slumped against, the beam hitting the doorframe of the room they had come from instead.

"You okay?" Holtzmann started forward, keeping her gun steady, ready to fire again at a moment's notice. She didn't get far as the Ghost erupted from the floor right where she was about to walk, throwing her back a few feet as she landed on her proton pack. That was gonna bruise for sure. She moved to get up, her blood freezing at Erin's scream, "Jillian!"

The blonde scientist looked up in time to see the Ghost, which resembled an ugly, luminous green, half-decomposed corpse, dragging Erin along the floor by her right leg, back into the room they had previously searched. Erin was unable to grab her gun or anything really, as she was lying on her belly as she was dragged, desperately trying to grasp onto the carpet with her fingers.

"Erin!" Came Abby's yell from behind her as Abby and Patty came running down the hall towards them.

"Hold on baby, we coming! Holtzy you good?" Patty yelled, before grabbing Holtzmann's arms and yanking her to her feet just as the door that Erin had disappeared through slammed shut violently, locking them out.

"No, no, no, no, no!" Abby slammed her hands against the door, and began twisting the doorknob to no effect. They stilled as they heard another scream from Erin inside, and the sound of furniture being broken and what sounded like something shattering. Holtzmann attempted kicking the door in, but only succeeded in making some dents in the wood.

"We gotta get in there!" Patty yelled in panic.

"Alright back up!" Holtz yelled, aiming her gun at the door, she fired, the proton laser burning and blasting pieces of the door out of her way. She burst through the opening, no hesitation, ready to blast the Ghost back to hell. She stopped midway into the room, the others following, all pointing their guns at the entity, not daring to fire while it dangled Erin by her throat in front of it like a human shield. The room was trashed, the bed upended and tables and chairs broken, the walls had massive dents and slime in places and the adjacent bathroom looked like a bomb had gone off inside, shattered glass and debris all over the floor. Erin was gasping, clawing at the Ghost's fingers around her neck, "… _help…_ " she croaked.

"Let her go now! Or I promise you'll regret it!" Holtzmann yelled in anger, protective instincts flaring, ' _don't you dare hurt her or I'll find a way to kill you twice.'_

The Ghost snarled, before suddenly flinging Erin bodily through the curtained window. There was the sound of fabric ripping and glass shattering as she fell screaming, out of the second floor window, down. A loud sound of impact could be heard from outside wherever Erin had landed. Holtzmann was screaming Erin's name as she blasted the ghost, Abby and Patty joining in. It struggled against the multiple beams, putting up a fight, but Jillian didn't have time for this shit, she needed to get to Erin NOW. She rushed at the ghost, pulling out the trap, she dropped the trap right under it while managing to avoid it's violent swings at her. She quickly activated the trap, sucking the bastard in, and a few seconds later, success. No time to spare, she leaned out the window frantically looking down. She sight she was met with frightened her immensely, Erin had only fallen one floor, but appeared to have landed on the roof of a car parked directly below. She wasn't moving. She sensed Abby and Patty next to her, crying out Erin's name and 'Oh my god'.

"Patty, grab the Ghost. I'm going down." Holtzmann turned and ran out of the room, hearing Abby follow. Jillian was the fastest and managed to sprint out of the hotel and towards the parking area out front where Erin had been thrown. She rushed towards the car she could see Erin lying on. The hotel room curtain was also there, underneath Erin and draped slightly over the cracked windshield which the woman's legs were lying on top of. Her torso had impacted the roof, and obviously dented it, and her legs had impacted the windshield, which hadn't shattered. The two front door windows seemed to have shattered on impact however, and Jillian didn't even care that she had cut herself on the broken glass as she grabbed Erin's arm, which was hanging over the side.

"Erin? Erin? Please wake up! Abby! Call an ambulance!" She yelled over her shoulder, as her friends approached the scene. She moved closer to look at Erin's face, tears spilling from her eyes as she saw the red stain coating the side of her love's face. Erin's eyes were closed, she was unresponsive. Jillian didn't know how long she stayed there, stroking Erin's hand, crying. She didn't hear Abby and Patty talking, it was all just background noise, nothing else mattered, except Erin, and where the fuck was the ambulance?!

After what seemed like forever, but was really only five minutes, she recognised the sound of sirens, and allowed Patty to gently pull her away keeping her eyes on Erin's form as the paramedics tended to her. Patty and Abby boxed her in, all three of them hanging on to each other for support. Jillian said nothing, just stared at Erin as Abby questioned the paramedics, demanding to know what was happening.

"She's alive. We'll have to move her carefully in case of spinal injury, the bleeding is from a head laceration, but it doesn't seem to be serious. We're gonna move her now." One of the paramedics replied.

" _She's alive_." Holtzmann breathed in a shaky breath. Abby and Patty echoed her sentiment with 'thank god' and patted Jillian on the back reassuringly.

They watched as Erin was moved onto a stretcher and loaded into the ambulance, Abby was now arguing with the paramedic about letting Holtz go in the ambulance with Erin. They gave in to her demands reluctantly and Holtz jumped into the back, not even questioning why Abby wanted her to be the one to stay with Erin. She sat down and held the brunette's hand while one of the paramedics checked over Erin's head injury and monitored her during the trip to the hospital. Unfortunately she had to be parted from her when they rushed her into emergency, and Holtzmann had to wait outside.

She didn't know how long she sat there with her head in her hands, her tears having dried up a while ago, the pit of fear once again opening up in her chest. The same fear she had felt when her two friends had disappeared into the portal. She started when an arm wrapped around her before realising it was Abby. Abby and Patty had finally made it to the hospital and had sat next to her without her even noticing, she was so wrapped up in her feelings. She leaned into the reassuring hug her best friend offered, while Patty went to ask for news about Erin from a doctor.

"She'll be okay Holtzy, I know she will, she's stronger than she looks right?" Abby was always trying to stay positive. It was an admirable trait, and much needed at that moment. Holtzmann felt her crushing fear and anxiety lifting slightly now Abby was there with her, her friend always knew how to make her feel better. She exhaled shakily and nodded, keeping her eyes on the floor.

"I couldn't help her." Jillian admitted quietly. She kept wondering if she had done things differently, perhaps Erin would be okay right now. It would have been better if the Ghost had got Holtz instead of Erin.

"Hey, I know what you're thinking Holtzy, and don't you dare ever think it again. It wasn't your fault. All we can do right now is wait. Erin wouldn't want you to guilt trip yourself over this Holtz, in fact I'm sure that when she wakes up, she'll be glad to see your face, so stop blaming yourself right now, she's gonna need you later when she wakes up. Got it?" Abby squeezed her shoulder, and Jillian looked up at her friend, grateful that she was there.

"You're right, sorry Abby. And thanks."

"No problem. We Ghostbusters need to stick together." Abby smiled slightly at her before looking up as Patty returned. Holtzmann turned her head towards Patty, hoping for some good news.

"Hey, the doc said she gonna be okay, nothing broken, she got a small concussion and a lotta bruising. Also some fractured ribs, and a couple nasty as cuts which was where all that blood came from. They said she lucky she only fell one floor, any higher up and it woulda been a lot worse. We can probably see her soon Holtzy-baby, so relax, she ain't goin' nowhere." Patty sat on the other side of Holtz and put her arm around her also. Jillian felt a weight lifting off her chest and breathed deeply in relief. Erin would be okay, and Holtz would be able to see her soon. She was glad she had Abby and Patty, those two sensed her distress without her needing to say anything and always knew how to deal with her when she got anxious and a little emotional. Holtzmann zoned out for a while, her mind on Erin, and all the events of the day leading up to this point, until Abby squeezed her shoulder again, and she noticed a doctor standing in front of them.

"You may visit her now."


End file.
